i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize