it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
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For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
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I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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