You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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