I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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