Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
