gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize