This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She announced her abortion via fbk
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
