You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize