Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize