So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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