but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize