if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
