Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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