Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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