Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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