Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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