You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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