come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
