remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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