sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
