Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
