I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
