I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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