he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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