would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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