I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Please don't give away my fajitas
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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