OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
