Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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