you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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