i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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