At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
