An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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