if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
