But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize