I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
