then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
cat food counts as protein by the way
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
