i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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