There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
How naked do you want me to be?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
