i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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