We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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