You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
