Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
