Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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