What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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