Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize