I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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