he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
