he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize