I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
