sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
