I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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