Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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