Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think people are normalizing furries
You ruined the universe
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize