Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I will pee on everything he values.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
