So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
