1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
420 ftw
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
