I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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