her vagine was all disorganized.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
